Somatic Experiencing Therapy in Massachusetts and Rhode Island

What is Somatic Experiencing?

Somatic Experiencing is a way of working that broadens what we pay attention to in therapy. Along with your thoughts and feelings, we become interested in sensations, movements, and other ways you find yourself responding to what happens around you.

Our past experiences help shape what we expect in the present. If you grew up with a parent whose moods could change quickly, for example, you may have learned to read very small cues—a shift in their tone of voice, a particular expression—as signs of what might be coming. Reading those cues could help you figure out what to do.

Years later, you may still find yourself reading small changes in other people this way. Now the person whose mood has shifted might be your partner, your boss, or a friend. But before you’ve had time to figure out what the change actually means, you may already feel your stomach tighten and find yourself focused on them: Are they upset? Did I do something? Do I need to fix it?

You learned to pay attention to these cues when they could help you prepare for something difficult or frightening.

And that learning doesn’t exist only in the story you can tell about your childhood. It can show up in what catches your attention, what you feel in your body, and what you find yourself preparing to do before you’ve had time to think about it.

This is one reason insight, while enormously valuable, doesn’t always change an automatic reaction. You can know that your partner isn’t your parent and still feel alarmed when their face changes.

How can Somatic Experiencing help things change?

Maybe someone asks something of you and you notice the familiar impulse to say yes—but also a slight hesitation, a tightening somewhere, or an impulse to pull back. Almost as quickly, something else happens: you feel a flash of fear, or your body braces as though the other person is already angry or disappointed. Before you’ve consciously decided what to do, saying yes may already feel like the safest way forward.

In therapy, we might stay with that moment a little longer. What happens if your reluctance is allowed to remain present alongside the fear? Maybe you notice an impulse to shake your head, or your voice sounds different when you try saying no aloud. Maybe fear or guilt gets stronger. We don’t need to make those feelings go away or decide that no is the “right” answer. Your own response can remain present long enough to become part of what happens next. When an old pattern is active and something different happens, your brain has new information to work with.

There isn’t a set sequence that this kind of work follows. What we pay attention to and how we work with it will depend on what you’re hoping to explore and how your nervous system responds.

We might begin by noticing what feels neutral, pleasant, or supportive right now. I might invite you to look around and see whether your eyes settle on something you enjoy—a meaningful object, the light through a window, a color you like. Or you might notice the texture of your clothing or a blanket against your skin, or a pleasant smell. Instead of noticing it and moving on, we might spend a little more time with it and see what unfolds. Maybe your breathing slows a little, your shoulders drop, or your jaw unclenches just a tiny amount. Or maybe you don’t notice anything different yet. There’s no wrong answer; we’re just paying attention.

If we’re working with something difficult, we also don’t have to stay with it continuously or take in the whole experience at once. In SE, we often work with very small pieces of an experience, giving each piece enough support and time to unfold.

Suppose you’re talking about a recent interaction that left you feeling anxious. Rather than taking in the whole memory, we might become curious about just one moment—perhaps the moment the other person shifted slightly away from you. You notice a tightening in your chest. We might stay with that briefly, then let your attention return to the color you liked, the feel of the blanket beneath your hand, or something else that feels more settled. When we return to the difficult moment, something may already be a little different—or we may notice something we hadn’t noticed before. Moving back and forth in this way can help you stay with something difficult without losing track of what else is present now.

Perhaps as you’re talking, one of us notices that you’re sitting a little taller, as though your spine has lengthened. I might invite you to stay with that for a moment and notice what happens next. Maybe you become more aware of the support of the floor beneath your feet, or notice a feeling of strength in your back or arms. Perhaps you then notice something in your chest that feels almost like confidence or pride. Maybe words come that you hadn’t known you wanted to say, or you notice warmth, even a sense of delight, as you feel your own strength more fully.

I’ll stay with you in whatever arises, helping direct our attention toward parts of your experience that might otherwise be easy to miss. Whether, when, and how much you stay with any experience is always up to you.

Somatic Experiencing and trauma

Somatic Experiencing was developed for working with trauma, including accidents, medical procedures, natural disasters, and trauma that happens in relationships. Trauma can shape not only what you expect, but what feels possible in the present.

What we learn to do in response is shaped in part by what was safe or possible at the time. When there was no safe or effective way to get away, fight back, ask for help, protest, receive comfort, or even pay attention to what you needed, some of those options may still not feel open to you, long after the original circumstances have changed.

In somatic therapy, we can become interested in feelings, needs, or impulses that have tended to get lost when fear or other protective responses take over. The responses that protected you don’t have to disappear for other parts of your experience to have a place alongside them.

There’s no single response we’re trying to make happen. What becomes possible may take different forms: perhaps allowing yourself to receive support, discovering that you can stay present with sadness, or having enough room to find out what you feel before automatically organizing around someone else.

Who can Somatic Experiencing help?

You don’t need to have experienced a single traumatic event to benefit from Somatic Experiencing. I often draw on SE in my work with people experiencing anxiety, chronic stress, low self-worth, people-pleasing, perfectionism, relationship difficulties, and the effects of developmental or relational trauma.

It can be especially useful when it’s difficult to know what you feel, what you want, or what you need until you’re already overwhelmed or well into a familiar pattern.

How these approaches fit together in therapy

I draw on Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing (SE), and Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) in different ways depending on what we’re working on. IFS and SE can move in and out of our work fairly organically. Sometimes we may be talking together, and at other times therapy may become slower and less conversational as your attention turns toward what you’re experiencing inside. You might spend some time connecting with a part of yourself, or we might become interested in a sensation, feeling, image, or movement that draws our attention as you talk.

DBR works a little differently. When we decide to use DBR, we generally set aside time specifically for that kind of processing.

Some people naturally feel more drawn to one way of working than another. We can pay attention together to what feels useful to you and let that guide how we work.

My training in Somatic Experiencing

I am still in training in Somatic Experiencing and have completed the first two years of its three-year professional training program. So far, I have spent about 150 hours in formal SE training, along with at least 25 additional hours in workshops, consultation, and my own personal sessions in Somatic Experiencing.